The Worst Cookie EVER?!?!?


PLEASE drop your ideas in the comment box!

So, I’m a performer.  That’s primarily what I focus my attentions on.  Well, it’s often split between food and theatre.

I need your help / advice with a new piece I’m working on.

I’ll just say that it’s a performance piece I’m working on in a few different stages, and want to do a sketch about an enthusiastic baker presenting the WORST COOKIE EVER.

So, PLEASE, drop your ideas in the comment box!

This morning a friend and I came up with “Snickerdoodles with bologna and black pepper”.  To be played as “well, bacon is so in right now and this blends the savory and sweet”.  Something that might work in a perfect world but is repulsive in reality.

And please remember the actor opposite me has to eat this cookie.  And possibly some unsuspecting audience members, after they’ve eaten several amazing other cookies I’ve brought in.

And to spark a little more… there were those who giggled and/or shuddered at my suggestion of an apple pie with bourbon, bacon and molasses.  And it’s heavenly.


Jacqueline – Your little Dusty Baker.


  1. Roy W Jones says:

    1st – The “twist” option
    It’s a really good cookie but the other person disagrees it’s “the worst” so you get into an argument that is either overtly near-violent or so snippy & bitter/judgmental that you eventually prove (quietly) it was the worst cookie ever.

    2nd – The corn-based packing material. castor oil. faux-sugar. fresh pine needles (yes, they’re edible). wild onions (if you don’t know the difference between wild onions & normal blades of grass then you’re on the right track), Scheschwan Garlic Chili, rice vinegar. It’s the “Sweet & Sour Cookie”. Which, if you tossed out all these ingredient, a “Sweet & Sour” cookie sounds horrid.

    3rd – Popporrui Cookie
    Actually falsify the ingredient but replace with look alikes. Try finding a way to make sugar (powdered or crystal) into the shape of a bone & to cook with, you “shave” some of the bone off. Get some Asian noodles that are as thin as human hair. (Depending on the age of the audience) melt some chocolate with peanuts & corn & squeeze out a paper bag (or something appropriate) into the shape of… yeah… a pile of… & then scrape some of THAT off for the cookie.

    Those are some ideas.

  2. hahaha the bologna does it for me. I was thinking… Snickerdoodle with pepper? I could handle that, but with bologna? That’s gross. I think you have something there. I’m impressed with Roy’s ideas. He’s got it going on! haha

  3. Tim says:

    This kinda of reminds me of an idea my sister and mom had for my birthday cake one year. Since I was born on July 5th, lots of times I get some sort of fireworks theme for my birthday. But this one year (I think I was 14 or 15) they tried putting fireworks and sparklers ON THE CAKE. Awesome, right? It did look awesome – until the flames went out and we were left with an inedible cake covered in ash.

    So, maybe what I’m saying is that FIRE should be part of the worst cookie ever. Just puttin’ that out there.

  4. Ruark says:

    Sugar cookies w/ chunks of anchovy and instead of rolling in sugar, roll in cumin? Horseradish and cilantro-doodles? Red hot and Sour Warhead snaps? I’m just spit balling here… ;o)

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