Author Archives for Jacqueline Raposo

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About Jacqueline Raposo

I'm an interviewer, food writer, and podcast producer. Chronically ill + feisty.

I Chat With Chef Carmen Quagliata of Union Square Cafe

Chef Carmen at Union Square Cafe

Chef Carmen at Union Square Cafe, photo Brent Herrig Photography

Chef Carmen Quagliata is practically the quintessential Italian grandma. I experienced this first-hand when I showed up for a small private dinner and he’d made me an alternate menu sensitive to my allergies, one that was course-for-course on par with the other guests’ dishes. It wasn’t expected and hardly requested; he responded to my effusive thanks with a humble, “I just didn’t want you to feel left out.”

So begins my interview with Chef Carmen Quagliata of Union Square Cafe. I had gone there a few weeks before for a press dinner at the new chef’s table, where Chef Carmen does family-style dishes including whole fish and entire porchettas. To my surprise he had made me an entire five-course meal on par with the diners around me, from three kinds of gluten-free bread to nosh on in the beginning through to a goat-cheese cheesecake for dessert.

“I just didn’t want you to feel left out”, he said during our interview for Serious Eats. I almost cried.

Italian chefs quickly hit my heartstrings, and Chef Carmen had them dancing. Please check out the full interview on Serious Eats, drop him some love in the comments, and head to a stellar meal at Union Square Cafe very soon.

Kitch+Table Brownies with Dairy-Free Creme Anglaise – Gluten and Dairy Free!

Kitch+Table Gluten-Free Brownies, Dairy-free Creme Anglaise and Dairy-Free Fudge Sauce

Kitch+Table Gluten-Free Brownies, Dairy-free Creme Anglaise and Dairy-Free Fudge Sauce

There are moments here in New York City, when I feel like I’m living out a television episode or something. Yesterday, walking from Rockefeller Center to Times Square, I was hit in such a moment.

I’d just come from doing an infomercial at a salon a friend owns, three stories above where the big ol Christmas sits during the holidays. Now and then he treats me to a cut or color or, in this case, a treatment that makes my hair shiny and soft. It’s been just over a year since I’ve been on camera, and though I was put off at first by the much larger production scale than I’d expected (there’s money in beauty product advertising), I quickly fell back into the fun of it. And evidently the 4 years of drama school and 10 years of city living mean I actually can do what I’ve been trained to do, so it sorta kicked ass.

Me getting the treatment down two weeks ago or so.

Me getting the treatment down two weeks ago or so.

I then hoofed it to Times Square to pick up some tickets for my sister (the kitsch factor in that area is laughable now, and most readily avoided), and subway’d it down to Union Square. Being early for brunch with friends (2:30 is totally acceptable time for eggs on a Sunday), I sneaked into a single spot at the bar at Union Square Cafe and treated myself to half a dozen oysters and a killer Bloody Derby*.

Times Square hoofing.

Times Square hoofing.

There was something about the tone of my day – the color, the weather, the bustle of tourists, the quiet subway car, the packed bar, the good food – that reminded me why life in New York is so sweet, and generous, and rather sexy sometimes.

Brunch of Sexiness #1. Totally beat out Brunch #2

Brunch of Sexiness #1. Totally beat out Brunch #2

Now, I feel like this little ramble should connect to this recipe, because if I was a serious food blogger than all things in my daily life would connect to the things I bake and blog about, right? I’d have more of a shtick and more than 3 people who read this would know what a Bloody Derby** is because I’ve referenced it a few times now… I may have even recipe’d it.

Anyway, this recipe connects because my day yesterday and that gorgeous chocolatey thing above are both full of love and kismet… or something like that. The recipe came together because I got some samples in from Kitch+Table, who I’ve worked with for Easy Eats and wanted to try it out on non-gluten-freers my last week of private chef-ing. The adorably talented 13-year old in the family loves brownies, so I figured we might as well have some fun with them.

Photo credit Kathy Schwartz for Kitch+Table

Photo credit Kathy Schwartz for Kitch+Table

First off, the brownies are delicious. I followed the very simply recipe on the bag to a T and was a bit wary when the batter was sticky and thick, but they baked up fudgey yet firm, rich yet not heavy. They have that signature crumb on top that many gluten-free brownie recipes miss. The boss family had no idea they were gluten-free, and the brownie aficionado ate the scraps around our little cut-out hearts with relish, going nuts for them. So stellar product to begin with (and I tried out two bags of this with equally stellar results). Go to Kitch+Table for purchasing or try my boozy Beer Brownies for something totally by scratch.

To spruce them up (this was the week after Valentines day) we used cookie-cutter hearts and layered them with thinly cut strawberries, some dairy-free fudge sauce leftover from my Chocolate Mallow Layer Cake and some dairy-free coconut Creme Anglaise, definitely two staple recipes to have in your pastry book.

Since leaving this job I’ve felt much emotionally calmer and steadier, and I know soon my body will catch up. And until then I’ll be thankful for the little moments, the big ones, the good things people are producing, and a little Creme Anglaise.

Brownie-Layer-Cakes---TheDustyBaker

Dairy-Free Creme Anglaise

This recipe sounds uber fancy but it’s relatively simple. Made with egg whites and just a little bit of sugar, it’s a delicately sweet addition for dressing up desserts.

1/4 cup egg whites
1/4 tsp cornstarch, tapioca starch or arrowroot starch
2 Tbsp white sugar
1 vanilla bean, de-beaned (slice the vanilla bean down lengthwise and use the back of the knife to scrape the beans out)
3/4 cup lite coconut milk

In a medium bowl, whisk egg whites and starch.

In a small pot, whisk together sugar, vanilla and milk. Whisk constantly over medium-ish heat until steaming. Pour over the egg mixture, whisking all the while, until thoroughly combined.

Pour back into pot and return to stove. Whisk constantly for 1-2 minutes, until slightly thick, coating the whisk.

Strain through a fine mesh strainer into a Pyrex measuring cup or small bowl, cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate for at least 2 hours or until cold.

*If you ever meet a guy in Denver with bright eyes who says he penned the name “Bloody Derby” for a Bloody Mary with bourbon in it, you have full permission to box his ears. I came up with it almost two years ago. This name has been pondered and considered. Do not trust this man. Then again, don’t box his ears, because he was in the army and is very able to kick your ass. Maybe just tickle him instead. I think he’s ticklish. Report back if you find out.

**The 4 of you who read this far down now know too. Between the 8 of us and the Denver guy and the guy I dated for five minutes when I came up with it and the bartender at the Ace hotel where we first ordered it I think we can make this Bloody Derby thing a thing. Just remember who started it. And I drank that Derby hours ago so there’s sadly not even a bourbon-infused reason for this rant.

Rosemary Lemon Angel Food Cake – Lowfat, Gluten and Dairy Free

Rosemary Lemon Angel Food Cake

Rosemary Lemon Angel Food Cake

I’ve been working with a new concept lately – “just enough”.

Go with me on this for a little bit.

I’ve never been a “just enough” person. I’m a workaholic who’s only just started admitting that maybe I’m “type A” when I consistently didn’t get the shocked expressions I’d expected after telling someone I’d been accused of being as such. I’m the kind of person who will think nothing of working 7-day weeks. I’m an adult who has dealt with active and repressed Lyme Disease cyclically for almost 20 years, and constantly feel I need to gain strengths to balance out my weakness so that I can be worthy of whatever or whomever is investing in me.

But here’s the thing. That way isn’t working.

Last week I left my job as a private chef, at a position I’ve had for only ten months. It was for a very wealthy, good family, of whom I have no drama to report. But it was too much work. I’d work 40 to 60 hour weeks, without having cut down on writing work and while still going to help my family business out now and then.

As the months passed things started slipping while I tried to sustain the ability to work at my job: I started taking interviews and not having the energy to finish the stories; I dated a man for about 6 months and I can count on both fingers how often we went “out” for anything other than a lazy meal; everything started hurting, so I started medicating to work. Not as badly as I have in the past, but a Percoset or two a day, and two or three muscle relaxers, and maybe some ibuprofen. Even drugged, it was important to me to not let the family I worked for know, and to be as good as my job as I could be. Possibly more than I even needed to be. I was tired, and depleted, and feeling horribly lethargic any time I didn’t have to be “on”.

I gave my notice in the beginning of January.

I came to New York City to be an actor on the stage. And while I’ve had relative success I couldn’t cut being an artist and independently making a living, physically or spiritually. Sometimes I feel like a quitter “retiring” to transfer my energy to writing a few years back. But it was a choice made to devote a little bit more to my health.

And now I’m taking one step further.

“Just enough”.

In January, I’d made a list of all I accomplished in 2012 – a testament to myself of how hard I’d worked and what I’d done, what I’d succeeded at. I’d made good money, good connections and produced a lot of good work. I’d traveled without concern for a budget or an agenda. I’d taken care of my dog and apartment and bought my family presents and helped out my lil sis when she needed some help and paid for my medical expenses. But was I any happier than I had been the year before? Any healthier?

During some healthy meditating with my life coach (yes), I realized that that is a list of misguided accomplishments.

I hadn’t gone to the park for no reason. I hadn’t kept my body healthy by doing the luxurious things it needs like acupuncture, yoga, meditation, saunas, massages. I had missed friends’ shows and family members’ weddings. I had been hurting my own body – the only one I get – by doing instead of being.

And in that way, I wasn’t being me.

So, now, the philosophy is “just enough”.

  • I will work just enough to make a decent living.
  • I will work just enough so that at the end of every year I’ll look back and will have completed one big project very well, in a way I’m proud of.
  • I will work just enough so that I have time to do the things that make my body feel better.
  • I will work just enough so that the next time I meet someone special, I’ll just be with him, and do more with him.
  • I’ll do just enough so that going to the park for no reason is just a part of what I do.

Just enough sounds like so, so much…

Rosemary-Lemon-Angel-Food-Cake---TheDustyBaker1

Rosemary Lemon Angel Food Cake

This cake came about during my last week of work, when I was training my replacement and starting to accept the transition that was coming. It’s incredibly light and decadent – I love the magic that is angel food cake batter rising high in the pan.

The key to angel food cake is making sure that your whites are beaten to peaks strong enough to hold the amount of sugar and flour you’re adding, without it crystallizing on top (mine did a little in this version, but it was still divine). I made a batch “normally” with white cake flour for work, then remade it at home for myself with the gluten-free equivalent. Both versions are so good. Light, airy, and almost completely fat free as egg whites do the heavy lifting and no other fat is added. It’s naturally dairy free, and an excellent dessert to top of a big meal (I served this after brisket).

I love adding savory herbs to sweets – check out my Rosemary Mint Linzer Cookies and Rosewater Lavender Shortbread – and this combo won over the boss-fam. At home, I found out it was even better a day or two later, when the sticky lemon glaze had absorbed its way fully into the cake.

Rosemary-Lemon-Angel-Food-Cake---TheDustyBaker3

Ingredients

  • 12 oz egg whites, at room temperature (1 1/2 cups, about 10 whites from large eggs)
  • 12 oz white sugar (around 1 1/2 cups)
  • 3/4 tsp cream of tartar
  • pinch of fine salt
  • 1 large lemon, zested and juiced to around 4 Tbsp, separated for cake and glaze
  • 1 tsp vanilla extract
  • 4 oz high-starch gluten-free flour: I used 1.2 oz (around 3 Tbsp) millet flour, 1.3 oz (around 3 Tbsp) brown rice flour and 1.5 oz (around 5 Tbsp) arrowroot starch
  • 1/8 tsp xanthan gum
  • 1 Tbsp very finely chopped rosemary
  • 1/2 cup powdered sugar

Preheat oven to 350°.

In a small bowl, mix cream of tartar and salt. Have 1 Tbsp lemon juice and 1 tsp vanilla extract nearby.

Whisk together the flours and xanthan gum in a medium bowl, then sift together.

Using a standing mixer with the whisk attachment or a metal bowl and hand mixer, beat egg whites on medium/high speed until foamy, around 1 minute. Add cream of tartar / salt mixture and beat until very foamy and opaque, around 30 seconds.

With the mixer on high speed, very slowly add all the sugar in a slow stream (this is most easily done with a standing mixer while you slowly shake the sugar on). Add 1 Tbsp of lemon juice and vanilla, and beat until the mixture forms a glossy, stiff meringue, forming a rounded but firm tip when you lift the beater. In a standing mixer this should take only about 3 minutes when the sugar has all been added, by hand it may take a bit longer.

Beat in the rosemary, quickly.

Sift 1/2 the flour mixture over the meringue and fold in with as few strokes as possible with a spatula, until almost all incorporated. Repeat with remaining flour and fold until completely turned in.

Pour into un-greased angel food cake pan and bake for 30-50 minutes (yes, it will vary that greatly depending on how much your cake rises, exact oven temp etc), until slightly brown on top and a toothpick inserted in the middle comes out clean.

Cool upside down on cooling rack for at least one hour before removing from pan.

Meanwhile, whisk together 3 Tbsp lemon juice and 1/2 cup powdered sugar until completely smooth. Whisk in lemon zest. Cover and set aside until ready to glaze.

To serve, invert cake onto a plate, drizzle with glaze, slice with a serrated knife and enjoy.

Chocolate Mallow Layer Cake – Gluten-Free for Milk Bar Mondays!

Chocolate Mallow Layer Cake

Chocolate Mallow Layer Cake

I interview chefs weekly for Serious Eats, a national website that covers restaurants, bars, recipes and events. Lately the subject of diminishing pastry chefs and departments has come up a bit, most prominently with Lauren Resler, a pastry chef I adore who turns out layered, whimsical desserts for her restaurants, Empellon Taqueria and Empellon Cocina here in NYC (if you haven’t been – go!).

I’ve questioned many a pastry chef as to who they think the next “it” chef of their generation would be; a Michael Laiskonis, Johnny Iuzzini or Alex Stupak on the rise. Many of the chefs I’ve asked say something simple needs to be done: someone needs to focus on reinventing classics with a deeply personal twist, something old but incredibly new as well.

As I adapted Christina Tosi’s Chocolate Malt Layer Cake into a version us gluten-free eaters can enjoy, I realized that Tosi may just be that chef. Granted I’ve never eaten one of her desserts, as they’re all loaded with gluten and dairy. But as the Milk Bar Mondays ladies and I have baked our way through her cookbook, I see that she’s doing exactly what we want someone to be doing: elevating classics into something so over the top that, like pastry chef Stephen Collucci said when trying her Cereal Milk Ice Cream, “it’s so good it’s stupid”.

This cake is so good it’s stupid.

Continue reading →

60 More Miles to Beat Breast Cancer – And Pink Sweets to Come!

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My mother Doris and I in the Twin Cities in 2011.

I say the word “walk” a lot. To my dog, several times a day. To myself when I’m cranky at how slowly some people move on the streets of NYC. As a curse when my joints really hurt (yeah, this Nemo character isn’t helping today). And within my family as we talk about if we should do a “walk” or not this year.

The joy of the word and its meaning is not lost on me, since there was a time as a child Lyme Disease made it not possible for me to walk.

Over the past 20 years, this ability has ebbed and flowed in regards to ease. And in 2004 I first put my capabilities to the test in what was to be the last of the Susan G. Komen for the Cure New York City Breast Cancer 3-days. I walked 60 miles from Bear Mountain through the Bronx and on the Triboro into Queens, then again down into Brooklyn, over the Williamsburg Bridge into Manhattan, ferried it over to Staten Island, and then finished off the Bayone to Jersey. I made every step, and was so moved that I vowed to walk every city the Komen organization sponsor. I walked every step in 7 cities after that, recruiting family members and friends over the years. My illnesses challenged the “every mile” goal I’d had after I dealt with another bout of illness in 2008, but I still tackled two more cities in 2010 and 2011, first celebrating my father’s 60th birthday by walking with him in Phoenix and then with my mom and sisters in the Twin Cities.

My first walk, in 2004

My first walk, in 2004

This year my mother and I will once again walk, “60 Miles for 60 Years” being our motto as we celebrate her significant 60th birthday.

She’s the reason why I picked this walk. Seeing her support her friends and loved ones as they battled breast cancer over the years made me so thankful – both for my health and for the attention she’s given me as I’ve needed her support maybe more than most kids should. To this day she’s one of my strongest advocates, and walking with her is one of my greatest joys.

So together we’ll walk Seattle this coming September, with my siblings all on various crew teams in celebration. We’ll walk in laughter and tears for those we’ve loved, those we’ve lost, and those we’re walking to save before they need saving. We’ll celebrate her birthday, our friendship, and the thousands of people we’ll walk with. I’ll make as many steps as I can, and be cheering for her as she pounds miles I can’t. We’ll keep working hard to raise more than money – to raise awareness, unity, and solidarity.

I so can’t wait to walk.

If you feel so moved, please donate to help us achieve the $2,300 fundraising minimum we need to meet on top of our own personal travel funds to get to the starting line by clicking HERE or on the widget to the right. And check out our website, Walking for Udders, to see pictures and read stories from our last 9 walks.

And expect lots of pink sweet things to come in the next 7 months.

Happy Friday, stay warm east coasters,

– Jacqueline

Related articles

Gluten-Free Blueberry and Cream Cookies – Milk Bar Mondays!

Blueberries-and-Cream-Cookies2

One of the many things I love about our Milk Bar Mondays swap is that it helps me branch out with the kinds of baked goods I make. This cookie is a perfect example – I wasn’t totally wowed by them, but I gave a bunch away for my New Years presents (I’ve decided that I’m giving cookies away in January instead of for Christmas, and it’s my new favorite tradition), and tossed some at my roommate.

They got rave reviews. Continue reading →

Gluten-Free Chocolate Cherry Chip Loaf – Baked with Love

Cherry Chocolate Chip Bread

Cherry Chocolate Chip Bread

* Note: This post is sponsored by King Arthur Flour and Pete and Gerry’s Organic Eggs for their “Baking with Love” Pinterest contest! Details on this below!

——————

I feel fortunate to get to do so much of what I love. And this week am even more amply blessed.

I don’t bring this up much anymore because I consider myself somewhat “retired”, but I got my degree in stage acting, and for all of my twenties it was my main focus in regards to work. Looking at my resume you could even say I was rather successful at it. But my body couldn’t keep up with the crazy schedules and multiple jobs it took to stay afloat, and writing seemed a healthier career choice. While I don’t regret a minute I spent pursuing or taking the stage or my decision to focus elsewhere… I do really miss going from one creative project to another sometimes, and the sense of teamwork and community that goes into a production.

So I was honored when asked to perform again as Bird in Thin Air in the last year of the Universal Theatre Festival in Provincetown on the end of Cape Cod.

As Bird in 2006 at StageWorks/Hudson and then warming up last weekend in Provincetown.

As Bird in 2006 at StageWorks/Hudson and then warming up last weekend in Provincetown.

Bird and I go way back: I did the premiere of the piece at StageWorks up in Hudson, New York at the delightful age of 25 (along with four other parts). It’s a 16-minute solo short piece about a tightrope walker who’s trying to gather the courage to walk the wire after having lost her partner/husband only days before. There’s no way I could fully explain how much this piece has meant over the course of these 6 years as I’ve performed it in 5 productions: it’s the kind of piece that an actor rarely gets to call their own, and Bird grows with every year and every hundreds of experiences I go through as a person. By the end of those 16 minutes I’ve gone through a delicious range of emotions and am spent, sometimes to the point of near vomiting.

I could say it’s nerve-wracking to be on a small platform alone without an actor to share the performance with. But the older I get the less I worry about a memorable performance or “wowing” anyone. I care more about connecting with the words, the character, the writer, my director and the joy that is many eyes upon me as I step onto that platform alone and just talk. I’m completely unable to see the audience in front of me because of the blast of the spotlight a foot away. But I can sense them, and hear their reaction to points of humor or sarcasm or… at the end… my complete terror and anguish. And I could never describe my gratitude at the sighs, applause, “bravos” and – once – “hurrah” that comes when that spotlight goes down.

There’s really nothing like it. I love those opportunities. And I am so thankful that now and then I get to live them.

I spent this past weekend far from my kitchen at work, my kitchen at home, my dog and (for the most part) a computer. I stretched, I slept, I worked with my much-loved director, I dissected pages of text and made sure my body could keep up with the story while on stage looking out, blinded by light.

Clockwise from top left: sign at the beach, tech rehearsal, the view from my room, the empty streets after the last show closed, the farewell season banner, bouys in the cold.

Clockwise from top left: sign at the beach, tech rehearsal, the view from my room, the empty streets after the last show closed, the farewell season banner, bouys in the cold.

Pinterest Contest – Baking with Love

This post is a little late, because while I had planned to pen it over the weekend on my luxuriously quiet days before the shows, I came down with an upper respiratory infection and had to put all focus on muscling through the performances and my drive home. So this is a little late, but still full of love.

Screen shot 2013-01-23 at 1.38.08 PMI don’t normally do sponsored posts. But I actually like and use both of these products, so when asked to do a post with King Arthur Flour and Pete and Gerry’s eggs, I said “yes” with confidence. I love Pete and Gerry’s eggs because they’re free-range, organic, from somewhat nearby and rather affordable. Though I don’t often use flour blends King Arthur is my go-to gluten-full flour. And when it comes to using a blend, I love that there’s does not include xanthan gum – which is a plus in my book.

So we’re all coming together for a contest on Pinterest where pinners can pin their loving baked treats up until February 14th and win up to $250 in King Arthur products! Click here or on the image above to learn more (and click HERE to join me on Pinterest!).

Chocolate-Cherry-Bread1

Now I had intended to do something pink and heart-full and sweet for this contest, and I may do another by the due date, but performing and cold and what-not had me doing something simple and rich and warming. There’s something I adore about a quick-bread recipe. The fact that it’s two bowls and no electronics. The fact that a basic ratio is endlessly adaptable. The fact that it can be a loaf or a muffin. I love quick-breads. And this one tastes even better on day two, and day three.

And now, to quote Meg Ryan (who looked way more adorable with her cold in You’ve Got Mail than I do right now), “my head is getting fuzzy”. Back to the couch.

Lots of love,

– Jacqueline

Chocolate-Cherry-Bread2

Gluten-Free Chocolate Cherry Chip Loaf

Ingredients:

  • 1 1/2 cup / 8oz King Arthur Gluten-Free Flour Blend
  • 3/4 tsp xanthan gum
  • 1/2 cup (4oz) white sugar
  • 2 tsp baking powder
  • 1/2 tsp baking soda
  • 1 tsp salt
  • 2 large Pete and Gerry’s Organic Eggs, beaten
  • 8oz milk (I used unsweetened almond), warmed
  • 1/2 cup (4oz, 1 stick) unsalted butter, melted
  • 1 tsp lemon juice or white vinegar
  • 1/2 cup chopped dried cherries
  • 1/4 – 1/2 cup chocolate chips or chunks

Preheat oven to 350°. Lightly grease a loaf or muffin pans.

In a medium bowl, whisk together flour, gum, powder, soda, sugar and salt.

In a separate bowl, whisk eggs thoroughly. Add milk and butter and whisk thoroughly to combine.

Whisk dry ingredients into wet. Fold in cherries and chocolate chips.

Pour into greased pans and bake 40 minutes for a loaf or 18-22 minutes for muffins.

(Werking Woman’s Meat)Balls Deep in Resolutions

Meatballs3-TheDustyBaker

This is gonna get personal, today, people. But it’s my blog, and that’s why blogs are blogs.

(If you’re looking for a recipe for light and fluffy meatballs that the kid I work for gobbles up, just skip the tirade and scroll down to the next picture, please and thanks).

I am so over “New Years resolutions”. I’m tired of reading them, joking about them, and them being taken so fricken seriously.

Because, one thing about living with a chronic illness is: you make resolutions every day. Every day is New Years Day as far as resolutions go.

  • I will “say no first” and really have to convince myself to say “yes”.
  • I will not work after 8pm.
  • I will drink more water, less tea, and reserve alcohol for worthy social events.
  • I will eat breakfast, lunch, dinner and two snacks and take my meds before and after as prescribed.
  • I will not wear shoes that look seriously awesome but affect my walking so that I later have to take a percoset to be able to walk at all.
  • I will avoid people who require too much energy, though the healthier version of myself simply adores and cannot get enough of them.
  • I will work less at my jobs and work more on the job of keeping a relative level of health.

Here’s the thing: I have a good life. I love my jobs, my family, my friends, my dog, my roommate, my apartment, my car, my city… they’re all fine and dandy and I count my blessings daily. But I’ve had Lyme Disease for over half my time on this planet, now. Some people I share this with – others I do not. Many people in my life know nothing about it, because I’m fortunate that, for the most part, I can avoid looking ill and only see certain people when a limp, hunched back or drugged-up gaze aren’t present.

At my healthiest, I can convince myself that I don’t even have an illness. There are awesome periods where I can eat, drink, dance and be merry, and wake up without a life hangover the next morning, moving into the next thing I want to do.

But that’s not the norm, and it doesn’t last long. And it’s a flat-out lie that I tell myself, sadly. Because when I get by with a few weeks, months or even year of that, I inevitably make poor decisions and my health declines to the point that there’s no lying or covering up that I got bitten by a bug when I was 12 and it’s affected almost every day of my life since then.

I don’t think resolutions are bad. As is obvious in the fact that I admit to making them constantly. I just don’t think that we should give so much attention to making them once a year. July 6th can be the day I make a resolution that is going to change my life drastically for the better. Every day we get a chance to say, “I’m going to choose the healthier, happier option”.

Healthy people should be doing this as well as those who have to deal with their bodies a bit more. You said you were going to go running three times a week to lose that little extra weight and you “failed” in week four? Screw it; make the resolution again. Trying to quit smoking but light up when something goes bad? Throw the pack out and try again tomorrow. Made a resolution to “do more of this” and find out that it adds way too much onto your already full schedule? Make your next resolution “do less of that“.

Here’s what I’m going to work with now:

I’m going to make specific resolutions. I’m going to ponder them fully, discuss my options with those closest to me, and draft out a plan on how I’m going to carry them through. For example: I’m going to blog more is too general. What will really serve me best is I’m going to blog with more honesty, with more integrity, and when I truly feel I have something to express, not just because I should keep up with a certain schedule for social media purposes and targeted numbers of views. (This is actually something I started a few months ago, and I can tell you I enjoy blogging so much more right now).

I’m going to develop recipes that mean something to me and connect me with people on the interweb of food shakers and makers that I respect. Rather than throw a “it’s the holidays so I need to make five holiday cookie recipes because that’s what you do when you blog” I posted one: Triple Chocolate Gluten and Dairy-Free Biscotti, which was part of the Great Food Blogger Cookie Swap benefiting Cookies for Kids Cancer and connected me with blogger Jody at The Hobbyroom Diaries. It was a joy, not a job, and felt more in the spirit of Christmas than those five other cookie recipes probably would have. This year that makes sticking with my Milk Bar Mondays ladies, adapting more Cooks Illustrated recipes, tackling my mom’s favorites and starting a new seasonal swap with some lovely blogging ladies I miss.

I’m going to cut back on work so that when I plan to go out to a friend’s party, a food event, or even just for drinks and ridiculous food at a restaurant I drool for, I can with energy and confidence. This is the hardest one: my natural inclination is to burn the candle at both ends, and I like to work hard and party. Right now if I do something social it takes about two days to recoup. But it’s happening…

I was chewing on what resulted in this tirade today because (a) I’m way burnt out, even after a 10-day break from my cooking job, (b) my Muffin sent me this piece on chronic illness explained in spoons (it’s a great read and my next piece will be on it, (c) I found a similarly frustrated writer with a great expression of it at Mouth from the South (d) with all my self-reflection and self-analysis sometimes I want my brain to shut up about resolutions and this time of year is not helping in that and (e) I was making meatballs at work today, and I find making meatballs calming.

This is my official Happy New Year post. I’ll resolve to write another one tomorrow.

My dog is being too cute – I have to stop this now.

And enough of that anyway… onto meatballs.

– Jacqueline

Meatballs4-TheDustyBakerUntil I started my current cooking position I would tell you that I’m much more Portuguese than I am Italian. But for some reason my meatballs, lasagna, bolognese… those are what my bosses latched onto in the beginning. And since I can’t do the gluten or dairy thing, it’s fun to get to use these types of ingredients again through work.

I now make meatballs weekly. My boss family likes their meatballs extremely fluffy. So to accomplish that I came upon a combo of ideas stolen from various sources:

  • From a friend (the chef before me), I learned finely chopped mushrooms almost dissolve in flavor but provide fluff.
  • From Chef Daniel Holzman (of the Meatball Shops) I added ricotta cheese (he made a recipe for me for Easy Eats that was gluten-free and used ricotta).
  • From my brain I decided to mix pork in with the beef (I hope they don’t read this, because I don’t think they’ve realized there’s more pork than beef in the ones they like the most).
  • From everyone good at rolling meatballs I’ve ever talked to I’ve learned over handling is a very bad thing!, so these require loose tosses and a light touch.

Everyone’s got their opinions on meatballs. These ones have been specifically crafted for the people I work for. I can’t eat them, and have to go by smell and touch to know if they need more of something. But they’re a real deal, promise. If you’re looking for a gluten-free one, check out Chef Holzman’s in Easy Eats, and come back here for the gluten- and dairy-free ones I make for myself when I’ve made a resolution to blog them.

Meatballs1-TheDustyBaker

Werkin Woman’s Meatballs

The way I roll em, this makes around 34- 2″ meatballs.

Ingredients:

  • 10oz Baby Bella brown mushrooms
  • 1 small onion
  • 6 cloves garlic
  • 3lbs ground meat – I go with around 2lbs ground pork and a pound of either ground chuck or sirloin, whichever is looking better that day.
  • 15oz ricotta cheese (around 1 1/2 cups, methinks)
  • 2 large eggs
  • 1/2 cup breadcrumbs (Progresso Italian works just dandy in this)
  • Around 2 tsp salt (your call)
  • 1 Tbsp dried basil
  • 2 tsp dried oregano
  • Around 5 cups tomato sauce (note below)

Preheat oven to 425°. Grease a very large baking dish with olive oil or cooking spray (this is the fullest batch I do, which requires a 9×13 and sometimes also 8×8).

If you don’t have a food processor, chop de-stem the mushrooms and chop them into very tiny bits. Do the same with the onion and the garlic. If you do have a food processor, rock it: de-stem the mushrooms, break them with your hands and toss them in, then pulse in short bursts until they break into as tiny pieces as possible with becoming mush (this picture shows them at the perfect time – a few more pulses and they’d be a mass of mushroom):

Meatballs2-TheDustyBakerToss them into a large bowl, and repeat with the onion and garlic.

Add the ground meat, ricotta, breadcrumbs, eggs and seasonings. Lightly mix them together with your hands, until everything is fully incorporated. Roll them with a gentle touch, sort of tossing them between your hands, into about 2″ balls (or whatever size you like, really). Place side-by-side, touching, in greased tray.

Bake for 20-25 minutes, until they’re nice and browned. Gently tilt dish over sink to pour off access grease (this amount will depend on your meat choice). Cover in sauce, return to oven (I put a rimmed cookie tray below to catch flying tomato), and bake around 20 minutes more.

Note on sauce: Use what you like. My current standard at work is also made for the family I work for specifically, which is basically this: in around 1/4 cup olive oil, soften 1 medium yellow onion that has been finely chopped and 4 smashed cloves of garlic. Add 3 large cans of peeled tomatoes (I’ve landed upon Nina’s as the house favorite… for now). Bring up to a simmer and cook down for at least 3 hours. Smash tomatoes with a potato masher, and blend until really smooth with a hand blender. Add salt and pepper to taste, and a few pinches of sugar if desired. I wish I could say I do more fun things with this, but you have to cook for your clients, and this is the way she likes it.

Rhode Island Clam Chowder – Dairy Free

Clam Chowder2

There’s a clam chowder made at a restaurant in Westport, Connecticut, that I start to think about a tad too much this time of year.

It’s cold and rainy in New York City but lacking the joy of fluffy snow that makes all the mushy street corners and sopping subway cars worth the mess. I’m dreaming of soup.

This time of year, along with the slush, I get Robert Frost poems stuck in my head (often sung by a madrigal choir) and daydream about the cookies I don’t have enough time to make (I think my neighbors are getting “Happy New Year” cookies this time around). I drag my computer to the living room so I can look at this while I work:

My roommate's cat under our tree.

My roommate’s cat under our tree.

Snow and cookies and Robert Frost and wrapping presents may have to wait, but this soup I just couldn’t shake.

I’ve always been a fan of the lesser known Rhode Island version of clam chowder. The Manhattan version is too tomato-y and rather flat-tasting for my likes. And the New England take is obviously loaded in dairy, which I can’t eat. So when I stumbled into that restaurant in CT one day with a friend and found a variation that not only was allergy-friendly but that tasted just what I want a seafood soup to be, I was hooked. Now I make excuses to stop in there when I go see my family this time of year, and I often buy it by the 2-lb jug. Which is quite silly because, as you can see here, it’s incredibly easy to make myself.

Yesterday was a quiet private chef-fing day, and I wanted to provide something nourishing for my lady-boss, who’s a bit under the weather. There were already a few pureed soups in the fridge, but she needed something with a bit more sustenance. She loves veggies and corn and seafood, so it was the perfect combo to hit the spot.

This is an incredibly easy, quick, flavorful soup to make. In the minimal growing season you can completely get by with high-quality canned clams and corn. You don’t have to peel the potatoes. It only takes a few sprigs of thyme to get some amazing flavors outta it. You don’t even need butter! There are measurements here, of course, but you can eyeball things and taste as you go. Easy peasy.

Soon I’ll get to slow down, wrap those presents, make those cookies, and spend a day watching the Christmas movies I just bought to round out my collection. Until then, I’ll relish in the quiet moments at work where I get to make someone feel just a tiny bit better with a big mug of soup.

It’s the week before Christmas. I hope you’re not sweating the small stuff, that you’re relishing in the happy things you get to do, and that with the coming holidays you get to rest and recharge.

Happy Monday,

– Jacqueline

Clam Chowder1

Rhode Island Clam Chowder

Serves 4

Ingredients:

3 Tbsp olive oil, divided
2 slices thick-cut bacon, cut into small pieces
1 small yellow onion, chopped fine
2 celery stalks, chopped fine
4 small red potatoes, diced small
1 15-oz can corn, with juice
3 6.5-oz cans clams, with juice
1 cup clam juice or fish broth
2 Tbsp chopped thyme
salt and pepper to taste

In a large pot, heat 1 Tbsp of the olive oil over medium-high heat. Add the bacon and cook until almost brown, about 4 minutes, stirring occasionally. Add the onion, celery and remaining olive oil and cook, stirring, until soft, about 5-6 minutes.

Add the potatoes, corn, clams, clam juice/broth and thyme. Fill with enough water to cover, and bring to a low boil. Turn heat to a simmer, and simmer about 20 minutes, or until potatoes are soft. Add salt and pepper to taste before serving.

I Chat With… NYC’s Finest Tastemakers

At the table with Executive Chef April Bloomfield, photo Brent Herrig

At the table with Executive Chef April Bloomfield, photo Brent Herrig

I get all reflective around the holidays.

My birthday, too, when I come to think of it.

As the year comes to a close my current focus is on my health – following your passion into the kitchen and on the city streets as a writer puts a lot of stress on a body with a chronic illness. I love my jobs. Cooking, nourishing, interviewing, covering events, working on building up Easy Eats Magazine… they really fulfill me. But sometimes I let the balance tip too far towards overworking and too far from sustaining my health. As proven by having to take a day completely off of work this week – literally, calling in sick which I never do – because of back pain limiting my capability to cook.

But while my health is wavering, reflecting on the beautiful things I’ve gotten to accomplish this year is so satisfying.

One is the insane amount of talent I’ve gotten to sit from across a table, as I’ve interviewed chefs, restauranteurs, writers and mixologists/sommeliers. I’m blown away by who I’ve gotten to speak with.

The faces below are my most recent – taken before, during and after Hurricane Sandy ravaged my city. I have interviews on the calendar through January and am excited by the endless list of tastemakers to speak with.

For my entire gallery, visit my I Chat With… page. And for links to all the interviews, including the most recent ones pictured here, check out my page on Serious Eats.

Happy Friday,

– Jacqueline

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